You know me and you have been together for awhile. We've even traveled together--outside of the country! I mean, me and you going straight to Scotland when we'd barely been together for a week may have looked like we were moving fast to some, but I just knew in my heart that you were the one.
At least you were.
For about 2 years.
But lately, you've been sort of shirking by on your duties. You're not holding your charge like you're supposed. Heck, you're not EVEN charging like you're supposed to.
As in...not at all!
Now I was willing to blame other things. My battery. The lifespan of my lap top. The electricity. The plug!
But, I can no longer deny that YOU are my problem. YES YOU! And you know what? Having part of your cording stripped away to reveal the wires inside is NOT a good look for you. Maybe you were inspired by some of my own designer jeans with rips in them and trust me, I understand you want to be stylish, but seriously? Cords are not supposed to go for style. You can't pull off the ripped look.
It makes you look fat.
Ok, it doesn't, but I'm not happy with you and it seemed like the best insult I could muster.
Ok, how about this!
Your wires are showing. Yeah. Anyone can see. And trust me, you looked better when they were concealed.
And now don't blame me. I took perfectly good care of you.
Excuse me?
Leave my back pack out of this. He's innocent. He just held you.
A lot.
In the trunk of my car.
Whatever, my driving is awesome!
Yes, it is!
OK! You know what! The next time you think it's smart to lay across the floor where people can step on you or twist yourself up or whatever in the world it is you lap top adapter, power cord thingies do to try and look cool, I'm going to throw you in the trash...or recycle you...or whatever it is you do with cord things that don't work--you'll be gone so fast--you won't even KNOW what hit you.
And right now, Im looking into replacements. YEAH! I am!
So you sit there in your super perfect, specific position, because you won't work unless you're laying just so and I'm going to get myself a new cord.
Forget Scotland! It won't work!
No, I don't care about the memories or the good times. The good times are over. Put your wires away!
I mean it!
Power cord! It's over!!!!
You rant with inanimate objects better than anyone I know...Maybe Printer put Power Cord up to it??
ReplyDeletejust say'n....
I think your power cord and my power cord are having a torrid love affair. You and I are better off finding someone else. Hmph.
ReplyDeleteI wondered where my old power cord had disappeared to. Now I know. Just be aware that this cord is a bit tricky - when you threaten him with replacement? He can straighten up and make you think he's changed, that he's going to work just fine but beware, it's a short term change. Really, he's just a flake with a short in his circuits and it's best if you just move on as quickly as possible.
ReplyDeleteMy rebound power cord and I have been very happy now for a couple of years so don't worry about forming a new and lasting relationship with another, better power cord.
Oh look. The appliance conversations are back. *confetti*
ReplyDeleteThough I must say, I was feeling a bit sorry for the power cord toward the end. Do you really drive that bad? :)
My power cord is doing the same thing. But, unlike you, I'm not into humliating my electronic accessories in public. This means I will be reincarnated as something much more fun than you.
ReplyDeleteCan you be reincarnated as an avatar alien? That would be awesome.
My power cord is acting fine, but I believe my wireless mouse eloped with one of the fuzzy mice that runs in the ceiling while I try to sleep. Forget it. If he comes back, I'm not letting him in the door. Leaving me alone with just a touch pad for days. Who does he think he is?
ReplyDeletehaha - love this! So glad I popped over here
Love it times infinity.
ReplyDeleteMy power cord is pretty well-behaved. It's my mouse that likes to cause trouble.
Great rant! Silly power cord. What's it thinking?
ReplyDeleteOh, girl! LMAO! Nobody does a good rant like you do! :-)
ReplyDeleteHaha Frankie you are so silly! Your rants are very interesting and amusing to read. :) I'm sorry your power cord is acting up though. Mine is behaving quite well.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, LOL thanks I think...its unfortunately a skill Ive perfected over the years and omg if I find out printer had ANYTHING to do with this....
ReplyDeleteTina Lynn, :0 OMG REALLY? This affair must be stopped! Im soooo getting a new cord.
Rhonda, crap....he was yours? And he told me I was the only one. Ugh!
Heather, haha! And actually I'm an awesome driver;)
Simon, clearly if Im reincarnated Ill be reincarnated as a blog wars queen....oh wait...
Sonshine Music, welcome and omg get your mouse back!!!
E.Elle, thank you times infinity:-)
Talli, thanks and I dont know, clearly it hasnt met my printer or tire...
Shannon, hehe thanks!!
The Red Angel, way to rub it in my face:-) Hehe and thanks!